| Postal Worker Nuclear |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|03:13 pm] |
Midterm Friday,
In-Class Today,
My Room is a cesspool, and my life is average.
I napped and read all afternoon. I'm going to see if I can find anyone who wants to study for psych with me tonight. It's less awful if you don't have to do it by yourself.
It's less awful if you don't have to do it by yourself.
I've got about a month and a week. I talked to my neighbor, and she's having the same problems.
It's not all bad, but I miss my home/childhood. I always blog the same old crap |
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| We prefer fluids |
[Nov. 8th, 2009|10:07 pm] |
Real post later- notes and readings first! |
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| Oh Internet |
[Nov. 7th, 2009|12:42 am] |
Dear Tyler Foehr: Congrats, you are my new favorite gay youtuber! I hope I'm as cool as you when I'm nineteen.
Or better yet, how about you just run away to Canada, buy a drum machine, I'll buy a sequencer, and then we can form a gay dance-band and plays the underage clubs until May seventh!?
Or we could be like Tegan and Sara except male, and not twins?
Oh goddammit I miss playing music. When did I get so pathetic?
-------------------------------
All of my plans for after Econ fell through, so I went back to my room and had instant noodle soup and diet coke. So much for AYCE sushi and pitchers with a huge group of people. Thankfully, Liz and Alex and some other people were having a youtube party in the floor lounge, so it wasn't a complete loss. I have been avoiding talking to people from outside my 5-mile radius for most of this week, so I should probably
-email Jim (and let him know that I'm alive)
-email my psychologist (same reason)
-call my Aunty
-call Bethany
-call Mom
-call Sarah
Holy crap- Sarah gets out this weekend... which is SO good, but sort of strange to think about. It's like the real world back home is going to fall back into place without me, which is sort of sad to think about. The truth is, though, that I'm starting to make my own life out here, which is nice in a way. It's a weird sort of life, but sometimes, it's really really fun. I have friends here, and I'm learning things.
I think the exam went pretty well. My diagrams and writing were a little bit messy, but for the most part, I knew how the cost curves and pricing worked for all of the problems. Kim thinks I should change my prospective major to economics (I know for a fact I'm doing better in Econ than I am in psych). I know that UBC has one of the best economics programs in the world, but the truth is that 1: I don't want to take calculus, and 2: I don't want to be an economist. I would be much happier carving a career out of trying to fix screwed up people than trying to fix a screwed up economy.
I feel strange, but not unhappy right now. About 1 month until term 1 ends. |
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| Je pense, donc je suis |
[Nov. 6th, 2009|12:20 am] |
I paid for my second four months of UBC meal plan
and then watched some television, drank some tea, and read some articles online about economics.
Graham: Of course, you're right. My big problem is pridefulness, which of course keeps me from doing many many things. In that sense, getting pissed on metaphorically might not be such a bad thing for me, because afterwards, I'll probably be more open to getting outside of my own brain. Kind of like how you have to break a horse before it becomes ridable? I am definitely boozing it after econ- that's the tradition now =)
Screw you being younger than me and having no-bars access to liquor/liquor serving establishments. 19 being the age of majority is, with all due respect to people who have to live here full-time, demoralizing. Ugh.
I read your blogspot and picture you living in Edmonton. I'm such a creep.
Arash: I'm sorry you had to see me in such a foul state before I left. I'm not really like that. We should get together for coffee or tea or beer or something over Christmas. How's Scarlett? Is David Olmstead doing alright with Jazz 1?- My bass teacher said he took some lessons earlier in the fall.
Kevin: I'm sorry I was so uncommunicative on Monday. And Saturday. And I'm sorry for being so depressing. I'll get over it.
My Parents: Sorry for not calling/being in my room all week. I'm not dead, I promise. |
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| Things I do not love |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|02:13 pm] |
-My life right now
-Econ Midterm
-Econ Midterm
-Econ Midterm
-Stress
-Guilt
-Bad Dreams about failing Econ
-My other subjects (which I am getting behind in, due to the time am devoting to Econ)
-I had a big cup of coffee today. Why am I not happier or more energetic. I don't understand! =(
-This week is suicide prevention week at UBC (hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha)
-I would probably be happier doing nothing with my life in Calgary than working myself to death out here
-My parents are the only adults who validate my positive qualities now
-I am wasting time
-I am not happy
-Only girls can make ridiculous amounts of money waitressing for semi-formal restaurant chains (which is a minor form of prostituion IMO)
-Why the fuck didn't I go to SAIT and just learn a trade or something
-UGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
-I don't want to be smart, or to make money. I just want to be happy
-Learning more things does not make you money. The more you know about the world, the more miserable it becomes (maybe not, but this is what I have been learning summed down to about one sentence: God doesn't exist, and if he did, all white people would go to hell)
-I don't think I really love anything anymore, except possibly eating and sleeping
-I don't think I am particularly good at anything anymore, except FAKING smarts and organization
-Can we just please go back in time to when things were shitty for everyone EXCEPT ME
-I was busy as shit before, but I always had this optimistic sense that I was doing something worthwhile, or that there would be some kind of positive payoff for me in the end. Right now, it honestly does not feel like that.
-I am still really competitive over things I shouldn't be competitive over. I need to get over myself
-My online life is probably nice and more elaborate than my real life
-And that's not saying much
-I think I fucked up
-Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
-Back to work |
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| Video Killed the Death Star |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|07:34 pm] |
Things I Love:
-Diet Coke
-The Internet
-Helping Other People Learn
-The People Who Work At My Cafeteria
-Napping
-Being Gay
-"Jude Hours"
-My Beard
-Feeling Organized and 'On Top' of things
-I'm more than half-done the semester
Things I DO NOT Love:
-My Shitty, Antisocial-ness (I almost never initiate social interaction)
-Sundays
-Putting in a lot of effort for mediocre results
-Being single
-The fact that I am never going to be as "smart" (hahahaha) as I was in high school
-Disappointment in general
-Guilt stemming from not doing EVERYTHING
-When people give me dirty looks for NO REASON (am I a hoodlum or something??)
-White-person guilt for having shitty ancestors (we have been getting a lot of this in Sociology and Arts Studies)
-Having to pee
-Homesickness
-Procrastination |
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| Wheels |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|11:56 pm] |
Congrats on romance and everything Gabi/Kevin/Anyone else who is feeling particularly romantic?
Today, me and Kevin saw Regina Spektor.
She's not much of a talker in real life. I was surprised. I was sort of looking forward to the witty stage banter and all that. She played some old songs though, so it was all A-okay.
That's the end of my fun stuff this week. Now, all I've got is work, which is fine. Work keeps me busy, which keeps me from getting depressed I guess.
I've been posting more pictures than words these days. I haven't got a whole lot of personality right now, so that's my excuse. |
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| Postpartum Afterglow |
[Oct. 31st, 2009|02:00 pm] |
The best feeling ever: Genuine accomplishment. Here's the story. I studied like a madman all week for Sociology. I went through the books twice each, combed my way through all of the lecture notes, taught other kids the material, and just got a really good understanding of everything. And then I wrote the midterm exam. I have issues with university exams, because you can be fine in the knowledge department, but usually you have to apply your knowledge in some way or another, which is more difficult.
But I did well. Really well.
Too bad it's only worth 5 percent of my final grade (aka: nothing).
Yesterday, me and Genya went on adventures throughout Vancouver. We went to Zulu, and I broke my anti-consumerist streak and blew $18 on this:
I also bought my halloween costume at goodwill for $5.
We ended up going to a Persian Teahouse. I figured that people drink tea at places like that.
NOPE.
That's where people go to smoke hookahs. We sat around for a bit trying to figure it out, got it, and then left.
Genya has a friend who by some strange coincidence was working the Starbucks on Davie and Denman. We all got to talking, and me and her have crazy 6-degrees-of-seperation style connections.
We ended up sleeping on the floor at her apartment, and then we woke up, got coffee and walked around downtown. Today, it is beautiful out! |
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| Another girl Another planet |
[Oct. 30th, 2009|12:37 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | cleaning, midterms | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My Dorm | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nothing2Step2- Thunderheist | ] |
Tomorrow: Sociology Midterms
I know I'm smart.
I know I've studied my ass off...
But pray for me anyways, okay?
In other news, I finally cleaned my room. Now it doesn't smell horrible! =D |
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| Swamp Creature |
[Oct. 28th, 2009|05:11 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | busy | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Vanier Cafeteria | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Rehearsing My Choir- The Fiery Furnaces | ] |
This is a terrible week for blogs. Can you guess why? |
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| Hell! |
[Oct. 27th, 2009|11:23 am] |
Everyone is on the Tegan and Sara bandwagon with me, right?
This is going to be a relatively peaceful week. Just studying for my sociology midterm, fixing up my psychology summary, attending lectures, writing notes, eating and sleeping. Nothing too out-of-the-ordinary of difficult (except finding a blow-up mattress. I've got to get going on that!) |
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| Isolating Variable X |
[Oct. 25th, 2009|07:44 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | failure, life | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My Dorm | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Life in a Glass House- Radiohead | ] |
Some people want to travel the world and discover new and exciting places, meet new people, and learn new things about themselves.
I just want to live in a big house with all of the people and things that I love, and never leave.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I am supposed to be building my life here. I am supposed to be knitting my own goddamn support network. I am supposed to be good at this. |
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| Happy Hollow |
[Oct. 24th, 2009|11:25 pm] |
We picked pumpkins.
My shoes are muddy.
But I'm very very happy.
I've been going through all the music I have on my old computer the last couple of days. Some of it is amazing! |
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| In a warm place |
[Oct. 22nd, 2009|01:49 pm] |
There's this spot in the aquatic center. It's up above the pool in a little corner, and it's incredibly warm. Lot's of kids come here to sleep or study. Or both. I used to swim a lot when I was a kid- at least once or twice a week. I did lessons and everything, and then I just stopped. Now, whenever I go to a pool, it's usually just so I can boil away in the hot tub. I guess this means I'm lazier now than I was as a kid, or maybe it has something to do with the chlorine. I never liked the chlorine in pools.
Everyone here has swine flu.
I went and saw a free choir concert today in the noon hour. It was really nice- it reminded me of going to the Jack Singer and seeing concerts, except instead of well-dressed high-ballers, I was surrounded by other students and Chinese grandmothers who came to see their kids sing. I don't know much about choral music, but it all sounded pretty nice to me.
I realized the other day that I may be less happy these days, but I'm thinking about death a lot less. I wonder why that is...
We have these little quizzes which are worth next to nothing (they're just a small component of our class mark) in English. For every one of them, I have dutifully read the assigned book, cover to cover. I'm doing the work I'm supposed to do... so why the hell am I doing so badly on the quizzes!? This shouldn't bother me, but it does.
SARAH: Good luck at school today.
KEVIN: Do you want me to meet you at the airport next Thursday, or have you already got something arranged with Michael? I have a gap in classes right then, so I can probably make it. I am looking for an air mattress tomorrow, and I'm stoked for you coming to town. |
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| Sense of Humor |
[Oct. 21st, 2009|11:49 am] |
This week has been pretty normal. I am spending more of my spare time sleeping. I think it's because I've been dreaming more often these days, which is unusual.
Sarah comes back to Calgary today, so that'll be pretty exciting! Other than that, I got suckered into coordinating our residence's 'fright night' at the PNE, which is going to put me out $30... *le sigh* why do I let myself do things like that??? I'm also crafting up a post secret box for Vanier post-secret.
This weekend is going to be fun pumpkin harvesting and carving with aunty penny. That means I'm skipping out on the good-study-habits conference on Saturday. Do I care? Not really- I have good study habits. I'd rather spend my time carving up pumpkins with my aunty then learning how to budget my time for studying.
I need to finish up Stephanie's mix-package tonight, or it'll be too late for it to count as a birthday mix. She wanted instrumentals, which I thought was unusual- most people like song-songs better for whatever reason.
Yesterday, in creative writing class, John Samson (from the Weakerthans) and his wife came and did a songwriting presentation for us. I don't listen to either of their music, but it was nice to just listen to them talk and play music. They talked a lot about Winnipeg and how cold it is, and it reminded me of Calgary.
Everything is still so green here. It's beautiful and strange. |
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| I've got 8 Badges! |
[Oct. 18th, 2009|11:25 pm] |
Midterm 1 86/100* 86%
I GOT A DECENT MARK ON THE MIDTERM FROM HELL, and right now, I'm going to blow the awesomeness of that out of proportion and make myself very very happy!
I did laundry tonight, so although my room is still an unholy mess, it doesn't smell quite as awful right now. Today sort of pathetic. I woke up and ate the rest of my cereal, and then booked it over to the student union building for Fiddler rehearsal. Our choreographer indimidates me, but choreographers always intimidate me, so no surprises there.
Meet Genya Cheung!
Remember how two years ago, I mentioned how there was a girl in my math class who has awesome, enormous headphones and was antisocial like me!?
WELL, she goes to school here now, and we re-met, and it's been awesome. She came over today and helped me fix/abuse my printer.
I need to get off the internet and go to bed. =( |
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